Take a Walk

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, 

and that has made all the difference." 

Robert Frost

I come back into my air conditioned, furnished apartment in search of a bottle of water; only to realize that the one thing I left my apartment for I did not get. But received the clarity that I soo needed.

I was frustrated when I decided to go for a walk today. Living in my yellow western ex-pat tower, with views overlooking the suburb of Hawalli, I looked down at all the men heading to service this morning. And here I am, the only person in my building that tends to naturally wake-up before 7am. 

I was frustrated because I do feel like a bit of a loaner. As much as I enjoy meeting people, and even hanging out on occasion, I do prefer the company of a good book and a glass of iced tea (my substitute for wine since this is a dry county). But its easy to enjoy your own company in the US when you have your own car, access to multiple choices, and the comfort in knowing that help is never that far away if you need it.  It was this morning when it finally set in that something is missing or lacking in my life. The good book travels well with an old school kindle, there are multiple choices within my area, if you're willing to endure sexual harassment from taxi drivers. But the one thing I am missing is the confidence in the help that is present in my life here. 

My confidence at the beginning of this journey in my life stemmed from my faith in God, my family, and the extremely close friends who know my fears and desires. And although I can call on the Lord whenever and wherever, I can't call my friends or drop by on my family anytime I want. And slowly I realized that I was starting to lose my confidence in my being here and in myself. So I said to my inner spirit, "Get up Chris, take a walk."

I took my shower, put on some black jogging pants and a black t-shirt with my bug eye shades. I reached into my fridge to get a bottle of water, forgetting that I ran out of it last night. But, I threw my braids into a ponytail and threw some headphones into my ears, and I walked anyway. 106 degrees of dry heat but I left the protected comfort of my apartment to venture out into my neighborhood, to get some water at least. I followed the cars, and the people to find myself on a main road. Because I blocked out the noises of the honking horns and disrespectful men, I was able to pay attention to the things around me. Like the fact that there is a pet shop around the corner where I sometimes grab a bite to eat. Or the location of another international school that seems to sit behind the road where I live. That there are three bakala's (convenience stores) near my home and school. To eventually ending up in Kuwait's version of a TJ Maxx. 

When I left the store (after making a couple of purchases) I found myself in the middle of a large group of men heading towards their cars after prayer. And although it made me a little nervous, I walked to the side and with some distance. And the men who even looked my way, gave me a nod of respect and didn't interrupt my path. Even rounding the corner to my home, and I catch some guy in a red Mercedes honking at me, trying to get my attention, I ignored him (although what I really wanted to do was flip him the finger like I was back at home). Instead, I went down a side alley to make sure he didn't see where I lived.

When I got back into my apartment, I realized that I needed that walk. I needed to be able to begin to trust my instincts again and appreciate what is around me. That I am truly blessed to be here, and that this road less traveled is the best thing for me. My confidence will always stem from my faith; I know that my family and true friends will support me wherever I am; but trust in others and this situation can only truly happen when I begin to trust fully in myself. Now its time to go get some water.

Entering the World of International Counseling

"....Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose." Philippians 2:2


This week, I went to my first official overseas training for my new position in Kuwait City, Kuwait. I was tired but excited because it would mean meeting my co-worker for the first time in person, and really learning more about college counseling and being prepared for the added responsibilities of working with students overseas. It was a jam packed week from the time I landed and traveled to Georgetown University, to even now. I am actually looking forward to tomorrow because I will have a day to myself. To just breathe and relax, before going back home for the summer. 


But it's in these moments, these kind of weeks, when you realize the bigger plan that God places in front of you. Why at this moment, at this time in my life, that this is happening. Or even the realization that those storms that I went through a couple of years ago was because of the sun shining down right now. The biggest thing that I was happy to see is that I was surrounded by the world for a week. Over 50 school counselors, working and representing every continent (except for Antarctica), working together for one common purpose with one mind: helping students. I cannot say that I didn't have that where I worked, but I can say that right now, my heart and needs were needed on a larger scale.


So I created a list of 10 things that I got from the week, besides all the lectures (in no particular order):

• Washington, DC is the perfect place for international counseling. I mean it is a melting pot. Just walking on campus for the week, you didn't feel out of place because of the wealth of cultures that were around you.
• Everybody has Facebook (except for the Chinese). I knew that Facebook was popular, but even counselors who work in Sudan or the Congo have Facebook. WTH?
• Health insurance is a wonderful thing. I got sick this week, and ended up going to the emergency room. Thank goodness my health insurance didn't expire yet. And thank goodness that antibiotics only cost $8 with a pharmacy card. 
• I am glad that I have an Iphone. For years I avoided the Apple/PC debate by having an android phone. But I am glad that I recently purchased an unlocked Iphone because it is the main path to communication overseas. The apps are easy to function, the phone works great, everyone was using theirs....STOP! I don't want to sound like a commercial.
• No matter the race, fact one: Even as an adult, if the stuff is boring, people are falling asleep, or
• No matter the race, fact two: Even as an adult, if the stuff is boring, people played on their cellphones or on their computers, or, 
• No matter the race, fact three: Nothing unites and ticks off a group of bored adults more than the wifi not working in a building.
• Meeting people on Facebook great/Meeting people in person and they are just as fabulous than their Facebook personality, priceless. I met my co-worker Issa this week, and I am so glad to officially force my parents to adopt him into our family. We are of similar mind and bring a good balance I think. Lookout Kuwait!
• Nothing is more fun than riding a metro train with a virgin. After going shopping with women from Qatar, Honduras, and Mexico, we decided to take the Metro back to campus. The woman from Qatar never rode the metro. It was great, and her reaction was just as wonderful. 
• It is definitely a small world after all. I mean that by saying that all of us this week truly had common experiences, no matter where we are from. And to be in this new community that respects that just makes this experience even larger. 
• Bonus: we love our old students. I wasn't the only one showing pictures of my students here in the United States. I will miss them terribly, but I am excited about this time in my life. 

I made friends this week. Not acquaintances, but actual friends that I know I will have to communicate with because we are part of this bigger picture global community where we have to trust one another or this work will not work. I already made travel plans for the year, and have places to crash wherever I go. I am truly grateful for being part of community that is all about working together for one mind and one purpose. 

Reality is beginning to set in.....

"Life is full of surprises and serendipity. Being open to the unexpected turns in the road is an important part of success. If you try to plan every step, you may miss those wonderful twists and turns. just find your nect adventure- do it well, enjoy it- and then, not now, think about what comes next." Condoleeza Rice


This past week has been crazy. It's getting to be the end of the school year, and I am beginning to say goodbye to my students and parents. I don't care too much about some of many of my co-workers, but my students (most) and their parents (again most) are the ones I am going to miss dearly. But I have been ok with all of this until two things happened: getting my ticket and packing up my office.


When you have been in one place for five years, you accumulate a lot of stuff, both physical and emotional. It's easy to identify which files need to be thrown out, or which books to keep and which ones to sale. But it's not so easy to let go of things that have more of a value. For instance, I have this painting that has been hanging in my office since 2008 made by students in my self-esteem group. I was so proud of them completing it, that it hung in the front office for a minute. But as soon as I heard that they were taking it down, I decided to keep it for myself. Do I have space in my new home for this memory? 


Or its just the little things that come-up as you begin to pack an office that were more so the students than it was my own. The containers, plates, pots and spoons for cooking. The music for those days when I couldn't get online and they needed to focus. The pennants and posters of colleges that I took them to. ... 


The other reality nail hit that same day. My DHL package arrived with my ticket and visa. My official date to leave on the steps of my parent's house. I was dropping off my niece and nephew when I saw it. My mom came outside to meet us, and I go, "That's it." She says, "What is it?" I said, "My ticket and visa." Then my mom got really quiet. Then I started to get misty....


I have been really thinking about the excitement and the new opportunities that this job change will bring into my life, but I haven't allowed myself the time to think about what I am going to miss. Until now. And although I am ready to move on, I also acknowledge I am going to start missing all of these little things that I have everyday: my random calls to my mom, students in my office constantly, having a key to my school building and working anytime I want. Wearing shorts. Stuff like that. But again, if this were to not happen, the doors to this life would not have been opened.


The reality is this for me: I think God has a plan for all of us, and it comes into play when we get comfortable at a stage He has placed us in. Because I don't think, for some of us anyway, that we are meant to stay still and get too comfortable. My reality is that I needed a change because there are soo many things that God has in store for me, that I have to leave to go forward.